Corporate Mundo working hard, as usual, but slacker peons make him sad. His administrative assistant say she can't come to work today. Say she "getting married" and she "asked for day off six months ago." Mundo need proof before he grant one-day absence. Engagement rings can be faked. So can photos of fiancé sitting on peon's desk for three years! Mundo want marriage license, peon. And sworn testimony from minister. No photocopies. Notarized! *NOTARIZED!!!*
So productivity grind to halt until peon fix paperwork. While Mundo waits, he hit up cash bags with new sale on skins and champions. You like? You buy! Profits make Mundo forget how much peons waste time.
We run sale from July 3 until July 6. Buy lots of them, cash bags. The sound of Mundo counting money drown out peon rage.